I always feel like such a spoiled little shit when I order my groceries online, like there’s some part of my brain that just rebels against the idea and wants to call it the height of lazy privilege, but honestly one of the most revolutionary things for my pain and mobility issues has been the ability to order groceries from an app on my phone and have them show up at my door 2-3 hours later. Sometimes within the hour if you want to pay extra for it.
Like god fuck and damn me I might be in too much pain to do much more than hobble to the kitchen some days, but at least there’s food in the kitchen if I can manage to make it there.
For everyone with chronic pain or acute agoraphobia, or any other issue that makes shopping difficult/impossible/torture, the return of grocery delivery is a blessing.
Yeah, I sometimes use it when I just don’t want to deal with Other People, but I’ve also used it to keep the grocery bill down because I’m not pulling the “ooh, that looks good” maneuver. It’s worse when I take Himself and The Spawn to the store with me.
But by using the delivery service, or even just the pick-up shopping option, you keep it viable for the folks in the area who Need the service.
It really is a return which so many people don’t seem to realize.
Grocery delivery options were the norm for quite a long time, with food co-operatives and grocers offering weekly deliveries of pantry staples, or if you knew you’d need something in advance but wanted to make sure it was as fresh as it could be, delivery on a designated day. My dad, meandering towards his 70s now, was a delivery boy from the ages of 13-16 when he became an apprentice to the butcher he used to run deliveries for. He used to cycle up and down the length of the West End of Glasgow, dropping off food deliveries door to door, and if he liked the person,picking up their groceries from other stores along the way.
The rise of personal cars, giant super markets, and yes, the home refrigerator, killed off this feature of grocery shopping. Until recently when it’s had a blessed resurgence, and I do mean actually blessed. There are days when I wouldn’t have had the energy to go out to the store and get food and would have subsequently had to go hungry until my able bodied partner finished his 10 hour work day and went to the store for me. And I am lucky that I have a partner who is able to do that. But not everyone is.
Which is why I think it’s such absolute bullshit when there’s posts going over my dash calling this kind of thing “peak privilege” because some people themselves are privileged enough that they can’t imagine not being able to get up and walk to the store to buy their food. Like that’s ultimately where the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach comes from. It’s thinking “well I’m just being lazy” cause other people are calling it that, which, no!
Some of us need these services! They enable us to live without further suffering and that’s vital!
And inevitably the same people saying this kind of thing will turn around and say “well I don’t mean you, obviously, I mean lazy/able bodied/
neurotypical
Susan” which no! You’re not getting it! This is infomercials all over again!
I don’t care if lazy able bodied, neurotypical Susan uses this service, because without the lazy, able bodied, neurotypical Susans creating a demand for this sort of thing, it wouldn’t be available! If this service existed only for disabled people, it would either cost ten times as much, or it wouldn’t exist! Gah!
Just let people live, and maybe think more carefully about the things you’re criticizing as lazy before you condemn them. Just because something is a luxury for one person, doesn’t mean it’s not a valid and vital necessity for someone else.
Which also doesn’t mean we can’t not talk about how the drivers doing these deliveries are underpaid and relying on tips to live. Like holy shit that is such a valid and necessary point to make and it should absolutely be taken seriously. But calling everyone who uses these services lazy or “problematic” is…uh, well I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, if you’re social activism doesn’t include people with disabilities, then you’re already failing.
I might give it a try, then. I have anxiety and panic issues, and right now they’re being exacerbated by hyperthyroidism. I’m always afraid that if I give myself too many “breaks,” I’ll get used to staying in, and going out will become increasingly more difficult. On the other hand, though, there are times when I feel awful for the rest of the day and on into the next after shopping trips. Maybe I could allot myself something like three grocery delivery days per month, so I’m only going to the store for quick trips? That could work. And, I feel better about it knowing that using it keeps it available for other people who have worse problems.
Just my own personal experience, as someone who also worried that I’d get “used” to not doing things anymore my tolerance for being outside would lessen? I actually go out more for fun. I’m able to go out and hang out with people, and be social, and have a life beyond “no sorry I can’t it’s a bad pain day…” because I had to constantly make the choice between “go grocery shopping” or “having a life beyond pain”.
I also get so much more work done and my productivity has skyrocketed.
I didn’t actually realize how much precious energy, both mental and physical, I was expending on just trying to live, until some of the burden was lifted. Now instead of spending 2-3 hours going to the grocery store on my own multiple times a week, hurting my shoulders, my wrists, my hips, mentally draining myself from being over stressed and just generally fucking up my fatigue (meaning I wouldn’t want to cook, meaning I wouldn’t eat, meaning I’d wake up feeling worse the next day and I’d start the recovery process only to start feeling vaguely human in time to start the whole process over again!), I actually get to spend time doing things for myself, whether it’s my bread and butter work, housework, or spending the day cooking so I have food for the rest of the week.
My desire to put myself through the ordeal of grocery shopping (on my own) has drastically fallen, but my ability to cope and do other things when necessary has risen. If getting groceries delivered to you 3 times a month would mean you had enough food and you could spend your time doing other things? That’s a valid form of self care.
Them: “I can use a sling instead of a crossbow, right?”
Me (DM): “yeah, sure.”
Them: “can I use my bra as a sling?”
Me: “I…guess?”
Them: “and, naturally, since it’s a bra with two cups it shoots two projectiles at once, right? So it can do double damage?”
Me: “…YOU’re going to make a good Bard.”
You would definitely need to modify it though, and I’d argue that any effective bra-sling would be more like a cupless strapless bra. I think the cups would make it harder to use, even if you didn’t have underwire. Therefore I think only regular damage would be dealt but this is a VERY creative idea and I love it.
Fun fact: anytime you hear a story that boils down to “and then some ABSOLUTE FOOL sued this totally innocent megacorporation for assloads of money AND WON! Can you believe it? Ridiculous. Some people, right?” 99 times out of 100, the corporation super fucked up, the plaintiff 100% deserved that money,.and you’ve just been fed corporate propaganda.
I just did a quick perusal of the Coptic resources on this site, and it has all the resources I’ve personally found worthwhile and then some. These are resources that took me months, if not years, to discover and compile. I am thoroughly impressed. The other languages featured on the site are:
Akkadian
Arabic
Aramaic
Church Slavonic
Egyptian (hieroglyphics and Demotic)
Elamite
Ethiopic (Ge’ez)
Etruscan
Gaulish
Georgian
Gothic
Greek
Hebrew
Hittite
Latin
Mayan (various related languages/dialects)
Old Chinese
Old English
Old French
Old Frisian
Old High German
Old Irish
Old Norse
Old Persian
Old Turkic
Sanskrit
Sumerian
Syriac
Ugaritic
For the love of all the gods, if you ever wanted to learn any of these languages, use this site.
Cheat on each other or anyone else (especially not if the cheating is portrayed as romantic).
Die tragically, violently or AT ALL.
To all the people in the notes going “but but tragedy is a valid form of…” Yeah, sorry, straights broke it with decades of nothing but tragedy for LGBT characters. This is a moratorium on all such tragedy films with tragic endings for at least the next 50-75 years at which point there will be a review to determine if mainstream media has EARNED it.
From 1922 to 1968 the Motion Picture Production Code(commonly known as the Hays Code) enforced rules regarding the treatment of gay characters in tv and film. Homosexuality and gender nonconformity could be acknowledged, but it had to be punished to show that consequences would come from such “immorality.” Showing these characters as creepy, predatory, unfaithful, etc etc was common, and for decades pretty much every queer or queer coded character was brutally murdered. The homophobic tropes born from the Hays code are pervasive in media today. The sheer amount of tragedy and violence written into queer media in the last century has in the long term damaged people’s perceptions of what queer stories are “supposed” look like.
New Bechdel-like test for gay/lesbian romance films: If your queer piece of media complies with the Hays code, start over.
have you ever watched a movie that just breathed a little magic back into you
anyway into the spiderverse is the best movie of this decade so jot that down
it was legitimately hilarious but never held back when nailing you in the gut, the animation was innovative and gorgeous, the character designs were fantastic and the way they blended the different styles of the different dimensions was amazing, the setting was spot-on and they really made NYC come alive and feel like a place people actually lived, the writing was so fucking tight and the way they frame the story (the comic books!) was so fun and so heartwarming, the characters were seriously so so charming and full of life and seeing their joy at finally meeting other people who get it was just. wow. it’s one of those movies you watch that makes you think “oh, this is why we made art. for stuff like this”
Controversial opinion, but ur allowed to like things that suck
Like, sometimes there are just shows or books that are so goddamn awful for any number of reasons… But ya still like ‘em somehow, and that’s fine
It’s not required to write a 20+ page essay defending why you enjoy something shitty, you can just… Enjoy shitty things
Not all content is made equally and you’re allowed to like things that are far from perfect
Like, just, “This show sucks, but I like it anyway” is a totally valid response
“It’s comforting,” is a legit answer.
“I like reading about clothes,” is a legit answer.
“it’s brain popcorn, and I don’t feel like delving into something deep,” is a legit answer.
“I’ve read it so many times I can basically recite it, and it relaxes me by being familiar,” is a legit answer.
You don’t need to justify your taste. Stop feeling guilty about liking things, or liking the “wrong” things. Life is hard and bleak right now, get fun where you can.
it’s actually evil that ppl wanna say that they support bi women but then as soon as a bi woman is dating a man & she wants to talk about her attraction she’s shut down in lgbt spaces bc no one wants to hear about het relationships. if you shut down bi ppl discussing their attraction to the opposite gender then you are not an ally to bi ppl & you never were
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